Her First Defeat
by Hilary Chuff
Summary: James and Lily Potter defied Voldemort a total of three times. This is the story of Lily's first defeat.
1. prologue

The last time that Lily had agreed to meet with Snape, James had vehemently discouraged her. He hadn't forbidden her, because it wasn't his place, they'd only just started dating, but he had strongly warned her about it. (He'd seen how these sorts of visits had played out in the past, heard from Remus and her other friends how upset Snape always made her, had even seen her himself once while she was crying quietly in a corner of the Gryffindor Common Room, her head bent over a piece of parchment on which she was writing with shaking hands.) The discussion had lead to a fight, both of them shouting at each other and stomping out of the room, but when he'd walked into the Head Dorms to find her sobbing in her room after the inevitable blow out with Snape, he hadn't said "I told you so." He'd only gathered her into his arms and stroked her hair and whispered soft things, his lips pressed to her forehead.

But when Snape asked Lily to meet him again, she knew that James wouldn't be as understanding the second time around. So she hadn't told him.

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><p><strong>as always, reviews are appreciated. thanks for reading!<strong>


	2. chapter one

"James and Lily turned [Voldemort] down, that was established in "Philosopher's Stone". He wanted them, and they wouldn't come over, so that's one strike against them before they were even out of their teens." – JK Rowling

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><p>"So you're coming with me to Puddifoot's, right?" James joked, grinning. "Valentine's Day is next month, and I wanted to get in before the holiday rush." Winking at her, he slung an arm over her shoulder to drag her in for a quick kiss, ducking his head to press his mouth against hers until she pulled away.<p>

"Got to beat the crowds, right?" Lily responded with a small smile. "But I'll have to take a rain check on that. I've got to pick up some school supplies this morning – ink, parchment, the usual things. I'm running a bit low." She had never been particularly good at lying – correction, she'd always been an awful liar – but she did intend to do a bit of shopping after meeting with Severus, so she hoped that fact, coupled with the amount of times she'd practiced saying the lie in front of her mirror, made her convincing enough to be believable. "And then I told Marlene and Mary I'd try and meet up with them after, if I still had time." This part wasn't a lie – her friends had made similar pitches about getting a drink in Hogsmeade, but Lily had given them the same excuse she'd given James, promising to meet up with them once she'd finished her errand.

"What, are you planning to take five hours to pick out your parchment? I always knew you were a bit mad, Evans, but I never thought you were _that_ mad," James quipped back, playful, though she could tell that he knew she was lying.

"I might have to get some new robes, too! Mine are starting to wear out in the bum," she covered, moving away to gather her bag so he wouldn't see her face. "You know, if you weren't always _touching_ them, they probably wouldn't be wearing so thin." She narrowed her eyes as she spun around to face him again with one accusatory finger poking out at his chest, deflecting attention away from herself.

Holding up his hands, he laughed and then shrugged. "Can't help myself. Who could, when faced with such a luscious bum?" He reached out to grab a handful even as she started to make her way through the Portrait Hole that lead to the rest of the castle, and grinned charmingly when she turned around to glare at him, her flushed cheeks giving her away. "See you after Hogsmeade, then?"

Already halfway into the hall, Lily smiled, then shrugged. "S'pose I might be able to fit you into my busy schedule. Save a seat for me at dinner?"

And with that, she ducked the rest of the way through the portrait, disappearing down the corridor.

xxx

It was snowing in Hogsmeade, and Lily stamped her feet on the ground to keep warm while she waited outside of The Hog's Head. She had already been waiting for five minutes, rubbing at her arms through the thick sweater, and Snape hadn't given any sign of showing. Letting out a disgruntled huff, she decided she'd give him five more minutes and, if he still hadn't shown, she'd go find Mary and Marlene instead.

Three minutes later, Snape emerged from the pub, looked around for a minute, and then jogged over once he spotted her. "Sorry, didn't know you were waiting out here."

"You asked me to meet you outside," she responded, crossing her arms over her chest, already starting to doubt her decision to see him.

"I know, I know, I just thought – it's cold outside, I went in, figured you'd do the same. But this is better, anyway. Too many people in there. It's not private enough." Nervously, he reached out to take Lily's arm, leading her down the alley on the side of the building.

"What did you need to talk about?" she asked tiredly, pulling her arm out of his grasp as soon as they were out of sight of the main road. "If this is about James and me again-"

"It isn't," he interrupted quickly, his fingers flexing and balling into fists at his sides. "I know, I know, your relationship isn't any of my business. It doesn't have anything to do with Potter, Wizard's Vow. It's about you." He paused to gauge her reaction and finally stood up straight, offering her a small smile instead of the vaguely concerned expression he'd worn only a minute before. "I have a proposal for you."

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><p><strong>as always, reviews are appreciated. thanks for reading!<strong>


	3. chapter two

"I can't believe you! Did you really, honestly think that I would ever even consider becoming a Death Eater?" Lily raged, throwing her arms around wildly. She had been pacing up and down the alley ever since she had recovered from her initial shock at his offer, alternately stomping towards Snape to stab an indignant finger in his chest and storming off in the opposite direction. "Did you manage to somehow forget that I'm Muggleborn?"

"No, of course not, you're being ridiculous!" Snape stood hesitantly against the wall of the alley, doing his best to calm Lily and looking for his part like he wished he could ask her to lower her voice, though he didn't dare say so. "Lily, you're powerful! They don't care that you're Muggleborn, they're willing to overlook it-"

"Oh, overlook it, will they? How beyond polite of them, how perfectly _kind_-"

"That's not what I meant! But they know it's not your fault that you were born into a family of Muggles!"

"Because Muggles are just terrible, aren't they? My mum, who raised me and took care of me, who took care of _you_ – just rubbish." She paused and spun on her heel to face him, looking almost more hurt than disgusted. "All those times she had you over for dinner, made us lunch? Just awful, weren't they!"

"Lily, _stop_, you're completely twisting my words, that's not what I said. You know how grateful I am to your mum-"

"So what, some Muggles are all right but others aren't? The good ones we can forget about, but don't bother giving the others a chance, let's just kill them all?"

"That's not what he wants! His goal isn't to eradicate all Muggles, just to-"

"Just to what, let them know their place? Make sure they're subservient enough? Enslave them?"

When Snape didn't, or perhaps couldn't, answer, Lily finally dropped her gaze and took a step back, feeling sick to her stomach.

"I have to go. Don't bother ever talking to me again, all right?"

This time when Lily spoke, her voice was quiet, tired. Her shoulders sagged and she only barely kept her feet from dragging on the pavement, but as she turned to go, she found someone else standing at the mouth of the alley.

"Told you she wouldn't listen, Sev. Can't see why The Dark Lord has any interest in her, anyway – she's just another dim Gryffindor with a false sense of superiority."

Ignatius Mulciber. Seventh-year Slytherin, Death Eater wannabe, and Snape's best friend. Lily's nose wrinkled in distaste at the new arrival, but she didn't let him or his words stop her. But as she moved to brush past him on her way out of the alley, he caught her arm and jerked her back in front of him. Used to dealing with mental self-important Slytherins by this point, Lily simply glared, jabbing her wand into his side and casting a quick Stinging Hex. Under normal circumstances, the warning would have been enough, but this time the minor pain didn't slow Mulciber down and his grip on her arm only tightened.

"Get _off_, you gorm!"

Lily's shout was quickly followed by a cry as Mulciber threw her into the wall of the alley. Her shoulders hit the stone first and took the brunt of the hit, but when the back of her skull collided with the wall stars burst before her eyes.

"Scroppy Mudblood bint," Mulciber growled and moved forward menacingly, hands reaching for her arms to slam her against the wall again.

The lights floating in her vision were fading as Lily recovered quickly. Before Mulciber could touch her she'd already brandished her wand and, without a word, sent Mulciber flying backward, blasted onto his back on the snow-covered ground. Snape hovered where he stood in the alley, unsure of exactly whose aid to come to, before he stepped forward and offered a hand to Mulciber, helping him back to his feet.

Once righted, Mulciber stood up tall, glaring murderously at Lily, and for a moment she almost didn't dare to cross him. Even as he turned his head to speak to Snape, he kept his eyes on her.

"Sev, go in the pub and floo my father. Tell him that we're coming, that we'll be there in a few minutes."

"What do you mean coming? I'm not going anywhere with you!" Lily blurted, and for the first time a glint of fear flashed in her eyes. Her jaw tightened as she took a step back, turning to give Snape a pointed look. "Either of you."

Later, Lily would pinpoint that moment, her change in focus, as her undoing. As soon as she turned to look at Snape, Mulciber stepped forward, and in the time it took Lily to whip her head back to look at him instead, her wand was already out of her grasp, being twirled around Mulciber's fingers before he threw it to the ground. She blinked and he was right in front of her, and even as she took a few clumsy steps back he followed until he had her pressed against the wall, his forearm braced across her shoulders, the tip of his wand stabbing into the soft flesh under her chin. Her mouth opened in an unvoiced shout, but as the glow from his wand faded she realized that he must've cast _Silencio_, effectively gagging her.

Every fiber in Lily's body tensed, her mouth shutting as a muscle in her jaw jumped, and she tilted her head back to try to avoid the dangerous end of his wand. Nervously, she glanced over Mulciber's shoulder to where Snape was uncomfortably shifting his weight. She didn't attempt to say anything – it was useless, after all – but she willed him to pick her side over Mulciber's. For once.

"Ignatius." There was a warning tone to Snape's voice, and he stepped forward, looking more secure in himself. For a second, Lily felt relieved, but then Snape continued. "She's not a hostage. She's a guest."

What?

Mulciber, however, understood and he nodded, finally taking a step back. The wand gone from her throat, Lily let out a relieved sigh, but while Mulciber was no longer physically assaulting her, he still wasn't about to give her a chance to get past him. Pointing his wand at her again, he murmured, "_Incarcerous_." Ropes sprang from the tip of his wand to bind her wrists together, her ankles, and Lily swayed, unsure of her footing, before losing it completely and tumbling to the ground.

"Careful," Snape cautioned, and Lily wondered if he was talking about the ropes biting into her skin as they tightened or the second collision she'd had in five minutes. "We're not supposed to hurt her. She's supposed to be relatively unharmed."

The ropes continued to tighten until Mulciber reluctantly nodded. Despite rolling his eyes, Mulciber flicked his wand and the ropes ceased slithering tighter, leaving Lily barely able to move her fingers, let alone feel them. Still he stepped forward and leaned over her, leering before he looped an arm around Lily's waist, dragging her up to him.

Lily didn't think about the fact that she was wandless and he was definitively not. She didn't think about how she couldn't get up to walk. She didn't even consider that she couldn't scream or properly slug him, only that if she went somewhere with him – anywhere with him – it spelled danger. But Lily surprised even herself when her fingers flew out, almost of their own accord, to rake her nails across his face, hands poised as claws despite her bound wrists. She saw the blood fill the gouges in his cheek before she felt its warmth on her fingertips, and both of them froze for what seemed like an eternity before Mulciber hurled her back at the ground, violently slashing his wand in her direction.

She was unconscious as soon as she hit the ground and before the deep crimson stain began to seep through her sweater.

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><p><strong>as always, reviews are appreciated. thanks for reading!<strong>


	4. chapter three

The room they'd deposited her in was completely empty save herself. The walls and floors were bleached in some spots, darker in others, and it was obvious that all of the furniture and décor had recently been banished. But the carpet beneath her cheek was plush and the walls were garish with gilded crown molding, so Lily determined through bleary eyes and a fiercely pounding head that, when Mulciber had instructed Severus to tell his father that they were coming, he must've meant to his house. Or, judging by the obvious decadence of the place, some sort of palace.

Slowly, she pushed herself into a sitting position, noting as she did so that her bonds had been removed. Tenderly, she kneaded at her raw wrists, massaging the feeling back into her fingers, but it was only when she reached to do the same for her ankles that the realization that she was no longer in the outfit she'd left the castle in truly sank in.

Her stomach dropped as if she'd swallowed a stone, but the feeling of it registered abstractly, as if her body had ceased to be her own. For a moment she sat, frozen, and then erupted in panic, her fingers trembling as they maneuvered all of the buttons and clasps on the robe, tearing it off of her shoulders and letting the rich fabric pool on the floor.

The knickers were new. The knickers she had on were new. The knickers she had on were not the knickers she had put on that morning. Which meant –

This time when her skin started crawling, she would swear she could feel it actually shift over her body. She lurched forward, dropping to all fours, and took several shaky breaths to keep the bile from rising in the back of her throat. She could almost feel the ghosts of fingers peeling her clothing off, brushing against her bare skin, but a quick inventory of her body revealed no marks other than a thick, rough scar running across her chest, all the way from her left shoulder to her right hip. The scar was new and unfamiliar and she stared at it, unbelieving, before a vision of Mulciber's face, bleeding, distorted with anger, flashed across her mind. Rolling onto her back, she gingerly touched her fingers to it, tracing the mangled flesh from her collarbone to her belly button. It didn't hurt, exactly, but the surrounding skin was pulled taut and she wondered distantly if magically healed wounds (especially the shoddily healed ones – and why had they bothered to heal her in the first place?) could tear as easily as muggle ones. Cautiously, she tested the theory, turning from one side to another, but while her chest felt tight, nothing ripped. At least that was one less thing to worry about.

Her fingers were still trembling, but her hands were otherwise steady as Lily buttoned the robe back up. She'd been roughed up, yes, and abducted, certainly, but she wasn't incapacitated and, more importantly, she wasn't about to sit around and wait for whatever was coming next. They'd taken her for a reason and, while she was terrified to think that it was related to Severus's proposal and whatever that might mean, she couldn't think of any alternative. She had to get out.

She scrambled to her feet, ready to search the room for anything that might be helpful, but everything swam before her eyes, the walls shifting, and she dropped to her hands and knees again while she waited for the dizzy spell to pass. She'd gotten up too fast, that much was clear, but what she wasn't sure of was whether it was simply a head rush or something more. She easily could've hit her head hard enough for a concussion – the fierce thrumming of her brain against her skull would attest to that. Either way, there was nothing she could do about it for the time being. She would just have to… work around it somehow.

Slower this time, Lily raised herself to her feet, stumbling to her right and reaching out a hand to brace herself against the wall when the ground started to sway beneath her. It took another moment to properly steady herself, but once she had the ground stayed firmly put where it was supposed to be and the walls did the same. Even the door, which had seemed before to spin around the room, was stationary and Lily cautiously made her towards it. It would be locked, of course, but she couldn't not try it. The window, too, was locked – sealed with some sort of sticking charm, she assumed, but the glass didn't seem too thick.

On the first try she swore she felt the glass start to give against her shoulder and on the second try she was sure she'd made some progress. On the third try, she heard a crack and a sharp gasp ripped out of her throat as she stumbled back from the window, cradling her now limp right arm against her chest. The sound of her harsh breathing was quickly followed by footsteps and she only barely managed to drop her injured arm to her side in a play at wellness and spin around, wincing as she did so, before the door opened.

"I'm too late, aren't I?"

Russom Avery smirked before her as he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed casually over his chest, and Lily found that she wasn't surprised to see him. He was part of Mulciber's gang, after all, and if she'd already had a run-in with both Mulciber and Snape it made sense that Avery couldn't be far behind.

"Unbreakable glass, you know. I heard you slam into it the first time, thought I might save you the trouble, but it looks like you've already gone and done your shoulder in. You didn't tear anything, did you? Just dislocated it, right?"

Lily shifted uncomfortable in front of the window, begrudgingly giving up the act and taking up her injured arm again. "What, are you taking stock? Keeping a mental checklist of injuries so you know exactly which arm to twist later?"

Avery's smile didn't flicker, but he shrugged lightheartedly in response. "Sure, in case it comes in handy, but we're supposed to make sure no lasting damage comes to you. Nothing serious, at least. Wouldn't be much of an aide to the Dark Lord with a gimpy arm, would you?"

"Is that all it takes to say no? Some permanent damage? Because, honestly, I'd rather be a vegetable than do anything that could help You-Know-Who." She spat the words at him as if they were venom, raising herself up to her full height, but still he only rolled his eyes and took a few steps forward.

"Look, Evans. I'm not about to shove you into a wall or cut you up or anything. I'm not Ig, that's not really my style. But I'm going to level with you – you're being a right idiot. No, let me finish." He cut her off concisely as she opened her mouth to defend herself, and he took another step forward to properly talk to her. "You're thinking about it all wrong. All good and bad and all that rubbish, but that's not how it is. We're only in school for the rest of this year and then it's coming to a real right war, you and I both know that, and all there's going to be is safe and in danger. You're all about protecting your family and friends or whoever, but if you're dead you're not going to be very good at that. You're only useful to them alive, so if I were you I'd probably reconsider your self-preservation techniques."

He finished his speech and tilted his head almost apologetically, but Lily didn't offer a response, only staying frozen and still by the window. After a moment, she shook her head, unconvinced.

"Even with me dead, they're safer. At least I wouldn't be trying to kill them."

His eyebrow rose skeptically, but eventually he shrugged again, taking a few steps back towards the door as he spoke. "Look, Evans – if you want to die, plenty of people are more than happy to do the job for you. I could get my father right now, if you'd like. But you're talented and you're strong and you're powerful – you'd make a great asset and, while the Dark Lord isn't exactly patient, I'm sure he's happy to give you some time to reconsider your decision. He's not completely merciless. Act like a good servant and you might even earn yourself a favor. Not all of the Muggles have to die, as long as they're willing to live by his rule. So think of your family, yeah? Don't make your mind up too quickly."

She didn't respond, didn't move until he'd left and the door had shut behind him, and then she let out a soft sigh as if deflating and sank back against the unbreakable window behind her. She jumped as the door opened again and gasped as she jolted her shoulder, but froze.

"Just so you know, the walls are sturdy enough, too," Avery added, winking, and then shut the door once more.

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><p><strong>as always, reviews are appreciated. thanks for reading!<strong>


	5. chapter four

The Three Broomsticks was particularly crowded and loud, students stuffed into all corners of the pub after stocking up on the requisite Butterbeers. It was winter and the afternoon and therefore primetime to try and find a seat and a hot drink in the pub, a fact Marlene noted with distaste as she squeezed between two particularly stuffed tables on her way to the bar. Mary was close behind, her fingertips seemingly cemented to Marlene's back so as not to lose her as the two navigated their way through the crush of people.

It was with minimal damage – an elbow to the ribs for Marlene and a stomped foot for Mary – that they managed to push their way to the front of the queue and order some Butterbeers, and it was only then that they allowed themselves to glance around the pub, scoping out the seating and the other patrons.

"Don't s'pose you see Lily anywhere, do you?" Marlene asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning against the bar as she waited for Madame Rosmerta to their fetch their drinks. "Think there's any hope that she's somewhere in this mess saving a table for us?"

"Chances are slim," Mary replied breezily as she looked around the pub, keeping an eye open for anyone abandoning their booth. "She's completely bonkers when it comes to try to get a deal on things, and us normal people have only just finished our own shopping. She's probably still haggling over quills in Scrivenshaft's or something. Do you see anyone leaving?"

"Not yet. She's taking extraordinarily long, though. I can't imagine it'd be entirely too hard to strike a deal, anyway, the shopkeeper is about a hundred and a half and – oh, thanks –" –she paused, turning to grab one of the tankards and handing the other one to Mary – "he's got to be ready to settle into a coffin, forget some silly bargain."

"I think she might've been lying, anyway," Mary shouted over the noise of the crowd as they were once again moving, this time much less aggressively as they struggled to weave through groups and over to the tables without spilling their drinks. "She said she was stocking up on supplies last month, too. I'll bet you she's just off snogging James somewhere agai- Merlin, Marley, _move, _that couple's leaving!"

xxx

The next time the door opened, Lily had fallen asleep. She wasn't sure how she'd managed it in the unfamiliar setting, facing the disturbingly real possibility of being surrounded by actual Death Eaters rather than simply ill-meaning classmates – maybe she had that concussion after all – but, at the sound of the lock clicking open, she stirred. Her vision was bleary from slumber and she could only make out the indistinct, dark outlines of the three men against the light from the hallway as they purposefully entered the room. She didn't move from her spot by the window, only blinked a couple of times to clear her sight, not yet totally awake. As the outlines of the men sharpened and their features came properly into view, Lily blanched, unable to tear her gaze away from the man in the middle.

She'd never seen Him before and yet she recognized Him immediately, her heart pounding erratically in her chest. He was tall, powerful looking with the firm set of His jaw and His elegant fingers carefully wrapped around a long, slim wand. His hair was still dark, only starting to show signs of gray, and His eyes were heavy-lidded, nearly black. At first He seemed almost handsome, but then His eyes flashed with a gleam of red and the illusion was shattered. His hair was thinning with age and perhaps stress, His skin discolored and stretched too tightly across His cheeks. His face was gaunt and, when He smiled at her, it was more unnerving than charming.

She was trembling even as she scrambled to her feet, her fingers grappling blindly behind her for some purchase or a weapon she knew she wouldn't find, seeking support or some manner of self-defense. The heat of fear jolted through her and she shrank against the wall, suddenly too warm under the arms and in the backs of her knees. Her breath caught in her throat as He took a step forward, the tremors in her hands strengthening as His smile widened. The windowsill behind her was sturdy when her hands finally found it and she clutched it to steady herself, her knuckles white against the mahogany wood.

"And I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brash," He commented lowly, chuckling as he took another few steps closer and Lily flinched. "I'd heard you were especially lively, too. Shame that I was wrong." One eyebrow raised curiously at Lily as she opened her mouth the slightest bit to protest and promptly decided against it, snapping her mouth shut. "Am I not?"

It took her another moment to find her voice and, when she did, it was much quieter, much more subdued than usual. "I'm not stupid," she finally managed, flinching again as one of the other men – it must've been Avery's father – took a sharp step forward, raising his wand. He was stopped as You-Know-Who held up a hand, and Lily swallowed hard before continuing. "You're grown men, fully trained wizards. There's three of you." She paused again, her mouth dry, her tongue like sandpaper. "And I don't have a wand." She was painfully aware of this fact as all three large, armed men held their own wands in front of them. "I'm not weak, I'm just not stupid," she finished weakly, her cheeks filling with color as she heard how ridiculous she sounded.

At her explanation, at her blush, His smile widened into a smirk, His eyebrows arching in a pleased way. "Choosing self-preservation over the noble thing to do?" His rephrasing of her explanation made Lily's stomach clench, and she was shaking her head to deny it even before he continued. "How perfectly un-Gryffindor of you, how strangely Slytherin. Perhaps you aren't so different from us after all."

It was only her House pride, the knee-jerk response to defend Gryffindor that had been engrained in her after seven years at the school, that compelled her to respond even as everything else in her body fought against it. "I am _nothing_ like you," she spat before thinking, her thinly-veiled horror and disgust becoming outrage that showed only too clearly on her face. "I will _never_ be like you; you're _vile_ and _disgusting_ and –"

She heard her own screaming before she realized she'd screamed, and her body twisted and contorted where she'd collapsed on the floor as flashes of pain licked at every inch of her. It only lasted a moment, but in that moment the agony lasted an eternity. She was breathless and aching when the curse was lifted, and the taste of blood registered faintly in her mouth as she raised herself shakily to her hands and knees and looked up to see Avery's father brandishing his wand.

"You will respect your betters," he hissed, and his voice was so hateful, so fervent in comparison to the smooth, apathetic way of speaking of his son, that Lily actually winced. She'd never seen Avery's father before, never heard him speak, and he was so much more violent and harsh than she would've expected. She had been aware of him before, of him and Mulciber's father when the three men had entered the room, but she had not considered them acting beyond orders from You-Know-Who. She had not counted him as an immediate threat and she found herself looking over to Mulciber's father as well, the largest of the group. His glare was also murderous, his meaty fists wrapped around his own brandished wand, and it was only then that she began to appreciate the true nature of her situation.

"We will be back when you've learned to speak only when spoken to," He said coldly, all traces of amusement gone from his face. "I expect it won't take long."

Lily paled again at the implied threat of his words. The Cruciatus Curse was only a psychological torture, she knew, but she could still feel the jagged sharpness of it in her bones, her muscles, still taste the blood in her mouth from where she'd bitten her tongue, and it was not something she ever wished to experience again. She dropped her head when they left, too tired to hold it up to look at them any longer, and collapsed back to the floor in time with the door slamming shut.

xxx

It must've been about an hour later that the door swung open again, but Lily was prepared this time. She'd kept herself awake, alert by going over a mental list of defenses, all of her possible courses of action. There weren't many, and beyond that none that didn't involve somehow getting a wand, a seemingly impossible feat. She'd done wandless magic as a child, nearly every witch or wizard had, but only simple, instinctual things without trying. She'd been able to make flowers bloom and close, slow her jumps from the swings, but she'd done her reading, learned what she could on the subject, and she knew that wandless magic was incredibly difficult to perform once a wizard had been wand trained. It was nearly impossible to reach into one's own magic like that, harness it without the medium. But it was the only plan she could think of to try that even had a shot of working while she was still trapped in the room.

She was still seated on the floor in front of the window when Mulciber appeared in the doorway, her energy reserved for channeling her magic rather than standing. His wand was held lazily in front of him as he entered, leering at her, and she paused only a second in her attempt to take down the wards before realizing the opportunity and immediately shifting her focus. Her hands were still held out in front of her to act as mediums for her magic and Lily doubled her efforts, concentrating on one of the most basic spells she could think of as Mulciber moved towards her. It was only when his wand visibly twitched in his hand that he recognized the strain in her forehead and focus in her gaze, the words she silently mouthed.

"Don't bother," he said, the smirk evident in his voice even as she kept her attention on his wand. "It doesn't work for Mudbloods," he promised, and, as if to emphasize his point, he promptly discarded the wand, tossing it off to the side of the room.

Mulciber wasn't stupid, and more importantly he wasn't slow as Lily broke focus and lurched to her feet, lunging for the wand. He caught her around the waist almost as soon as she was off the ground and threw her backwards, following after as she stumbled back but managed to catch her balance.

"I don't need a wand to take care of trash like you," he growled lowly as he slammed against her, his hands catching her arms and trapping them against her sides as he forced her back against the wall.

At this distance Lily could see his face in detail for the first time since he'd grabbed her in the alley, and she recognized the slightly pink lines across his skin as wounds she'd left from scratching him. Bolstered by the evidence of damage done, Lily let loose a low stream of curses as he shook her, and reared back to smash the crown of her head against his nose.

He released her instantly, stumbling back a few steps of his own and roaring as he clutched at his nose, blood covering his fingers. He turned to grab her again, to punish her for this new injury, but, despite her own violently aching head and ringing ears, she was already half way across the room. He had to lunge after her to grab at her, but she was fast and twisted out of his grasp, pulling her robes out of his hands and jerking him to the floor. His hands didn't remain empty, though, as one shot out to snatch her ankle. It took only a swift pull to send her crashing down in front of him. She was still dizzy from the fall, from the constant throb in her head, and she didn't recover quickly enough to stop him from scrambling after her, his hands rough and bruising against her hips as he dragged her underneath him and flipped her over to avoid the elbow she threw at his already-broken nose.

"Let _go_," she started, lowly, at first, and then louder and higher as she repeated it like a mantra, flailing as desperately as she could to try and throw him off. His knees were heavy against her thighs, pinning her legs, and his grasp merciless around her wrists. She couldn't help but think of the new robes she was dressed in, the new knickers she wore as she thrashed underneath him, and her shouts culminated in a shrill, "Don't _touch_ me!" as a new fear filled her eyes.

He laughed.

He actually laughed before he moved his face near hers, their noses almost touching as he narrowed his eyes. His face was darker than she'd ever seen it, disgusted and somehow amused, as he moved to put his mouth by her ear and she froze.

"As if I would _ever_ put my hands on such filth," he hissed. "I wouldn't fuck an animal like you," he continued, and when she started bucking underneath him again he lowered his head further, sinking his teeth into her neck hard enough to draw blood.

It was her scream that alerted the others in the house that something was not going according to plan and the door burst open again as Snape and Avery rushed through it, followed not long after by the two adult Death Eaters. Russom Avery rolled his eyes as if unsurprised, Severus swallowed hard at the sight, and Avery Sr. looked on in disgust as Mulciber finally allowed himself to be shoved off and Lily scrambled back. It was Mulciber's father who spoke up.

"Ignatius. What do you think you're doing?" The large man's voice was tight, authoritative, and only at the sound of it did the younger Mulciber finally stand up to brush himself off. He looked almost sheepish at being caught.

"I'm sorry, Father," he responded instead, his voice nasal as he reached to press the sleeve of his robe against his still bleeding nose. "You know I have trouble resisting a good toy." He walked quickly over to the other side of the room to collect his wand, ignoring Lily entirely as she shuddered violently and began to wipe his blood, her own blood, from her neck.

"You've lost track of time," Mulciber Sr. continued to chastise. "It's half past six. The Hogsmeade visit is almost over."

"I'm sorry, Father," Mulciber repeated, nodding as if he understood the significance of the statement.

"We cannot be connected with her disappearance. The three of you must be back at school before the visit ends."

"I know, Father," he said this time, and nodded his head once more before giving a meaningful look to Avery and Snape. Across the room, Lily's head snapped up as if to exchange her own meaningful look with someone, and the realization that she'd been gone from Hogsmeade for hours – that someone was bound to start looking for her soon, if they hadn't already – sank in. "We're going."

With only one final scowl directed back at Lily, a promise for further vengeance for the few wounds she'd managed to inflict, Ignatius Mulciber left. Severus, his face pale, followed quickly after, unable to look at Lily where she still lay on the floor with teeth-marks now all too evident on her neck. It was only Russom Avery who stayed after everyone else had left the room, leaning against the doorframe to address her one last time. Lily carefully shifted her focus to him as he waited for her full attention, and it was only after she'd managed to arrange her expression into something hard and blank that he started speaking.

"If you were a Death Eater you'd learn how to protect yourself against all kinds of attacks – magical, physical, even psychological." He raised an eyebrow as if he could further intrigue her with the possibility. "Think about that, all right? A Mudblood without a wand might as well be a Muggle – unless you've got the proper training," he added, then gave her one final wink and disappeared into the hallway.

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><p><strong>as always, reviews are appreciated. i want to give a special thanks to moodgorning, daemia, and jilylvr4ever for commenting and to anyone else who's following the story. thanks so much for reading!<br>**


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